tis the season...

so let me just say that i'm sooooo excited to go up to my sisters for christmas. i've got ella and morgyns gifts all ready [and they're wrapped and ready to go as well, two points to me]. i'm getting aris and azleigh gift cards for target so they can get whatever and mailing those out to colorado isn't a problem at all. i just need to figure out megan's gift and i'm D-O-N-E. this is just fantastic. we decorated our house yesterday and as usual, it's fabulous.

i've been listening to the ever so wonderful celine dion and i even watched opus 'n bill: a wish for wings that work. everyone thinks i'm a complete nut job, but i really love it a little bit more everytime i watch it. it's so cute. i bought a VHS copy two years ago and i just found out it was released on dvd a few weeks ago....so i'll need to get that eventually. i need to make sure this keeps up with the technology :D not that anyone would actually sit down and truly watch it with me, but whatever. i'm good at being alone....i plan on doing it for the rest of my life actually.
school is finally winding down...and i'm starting to nut out about what i still have left to do. two weeks of classes and a week a finals and then a month of nooooo school. i had planned on getting all caught up during this long weekend since i didn't have school or work and i'm still in the same place, but maybe a few pounds heavier. speaking of, i'm starting a diet on monday. i saw some pictures of myself and i wanted to vomit all over them. i look nasty....and i'm going to florida in 6 weeks. 10 pounds would be a nice start by then....maybe even 15-20. i'm going to try really hard to just stay focused....i think if i stop going to the bar tuesday-saturday, that might help a bit. and i need to start making my own food instead of ordering out so often. and i should have time to start working out. i need to do this for me. time to be selfish i suppose.

thanksgiving was fun: me and ashtwat made a delicious dinner and hung out all day watching tv and sharing lots of music. nice and relaxing and i couldn't have asked for a better day. had i known further than about a day in advance that i was going to be getting holiday pay for thanksgiving and the day after, i probably would have ventured out to st. marys. i'll probably do that next year.

time for a GWACK ATTACK!!! which is going to be my last one for awhile....because i can't keep going out to eat..... :(

sunday suuuuuuurvey

1. What was going through your mind during your last kiss?
ha. i was too drunk to be thinking clearly, let alone thinking at all.....

2. How did you do on the last test you took?
got an 89%...not to shabby for having to do a giant cram fest

3. What is your ringtone for when people text you?
for the majority of people, it's "do you feel" by the rocket summer...but the cool people have their own ringers.

4. What show did you last watch?
america's next top model marathon yesterday. woot.

5. What last annoyed you?
nothing major. just stupid bitches who think everyone owes them the world. and when things don't go perfectly, they make everyone elses life a living hell.

6. What foods make you sick?
shit like mcdonald. except for the ice cream and fries on occasion.

7. Do you get shy around the guy/girl you like?
oh yeah. and then i proceed to make an ass of myself.

8. Do you remember what you were doing a year ago?
probably sitting in the same exact space, dicking around on the internet and procrastinating homework as usual.

9. Do you still have feelings for your ex?
nopers.

10. Name one thing you like and one thing you hate about yourself.
like: i'm easy going and therefore very easy to get along with.
hate:i have self confidence/image issues. also, i would rather be miserable and know the people around me are happy than to stand up for myself and be happy but know that everyone thinks i'm a giant bitch.

11. Do you have family problems?
i think the worst thing is that we're all spread out across the country. i have nothing to complain about in this department.

13. What was the last meal you ate?
chimichangas and GWACK! i love our sunday night mexican tradition :D

14. Who are there pictures of in the room you're currently in?
andrew mcmahon, patrick dempsey, james dean, andy warhol, starry night, fear the roo, black & white life posters, pics of my friends and family.

15. Name one thing people think about you that's not true?
i dont know....i think i represent myself pretty well.

16. Do you give special ringtones to certain people?
yes. anyone that matters atleast.

17. Whats the weather like outside?
cold and gray.

18. Have you ever seen a 3D movie in theaters?
a few times. and i hated each time. they give me headaches.

19. Who is the last person you imed?
b dizzle

20. Where'd you get everything that you're wearing?
sweatpants from the dollar bin at pat catans, a jacks mannequin band tee and a hoodie from american eagle.

21. Do you text with T9-Word or ABC?
i guess its called abc

22. Have you memorized your social security number?
yep.

23. Have you ever had a dream about people you love dying?
i dont ever remember my dreams.

24. Who's the last person you talked to on the phone for over 10 minutes?
prob. mi madre a few nights ago.

25. What was the last advice you gave someone and who?
i'm not one that's good with words/comforting people, but it was probably along the lines of "you know that you deserve better than that douchebag" or something like that.

26. What radio station do you listen to the most?
92.3 from about 7-11 the mornings that i work. RMG cracks me up every day.

27. What was your worst grade last quarter?
a B. last semester was a really good one grade wise. this one however, probably wont be.

28. If you died today, would there be anything you wish you could've said to someone?.
oh for sure.

29. Are you on youtube?
yeah....lol. don v was making fun of me for community webshots and the camera was on video.

30. What do you think about the person that last texted you?
ashtwat is amazing and i dont know how i lived life for so long without her in it.

31. How do you like your school?
i love the concept of being in school and living with friends and being alcoholics and making bad choices. but the whole going to school bit is getting really old. i'm sick of classes/homework/projects/test etc.

32. Why did your last relationship end?
guys are giant assholes/wastes of time.

33. Last thing you thought out loud?
i need to go DVR family guy!

34. What's on tv?
not real sure

35. What's the last food you ate that was stale?
i'm all about freshness. so i dont know.

36. Do you like to start rumors?
no...gossip is fabulous though.

37. Who will you never forget?
of course family, and then the friends that matter.

38. Have you ever questioned your sexuality?
nope, but i know people have thought that i'm a lesbian....like the ones that hit on me at the bar. fanfuckingtastic.

39. What are you afraid of?
not be successful....because im pretty much banking on that to make me happy since getting married and having children isn't an option.

40. What do you look for in a relationship?
i call them relationshits. i look to stay out of them. more work than their worth if you ask me.

41. Would you ever consider a relationship with your best friend?
nope. i dont like to cross those lines....somehow, things always go wrong.

42. What piercings do you want to get?
i think i'm good with what i've got.

43. Have your friends ever seen you cry?
yep.

44. Who was the last person you cried in front of?
i dont remember.

45. Can you do a push-up?
it would be slow...and i'd probably look like i was dying or part of my body was breaking.

46. What's going on after this?
i seriously need to start this emarketing group project, which will be the death of me this evening.

47. Have you ever had a panic attack?
yeah, once during an asthma attack. not an enjoyable experience.

48. Name the last time you got really anxious.
prob right now--i have class for like 2 days this week and i have more things due/going on than in a normal 2 week period.

49. Would you ever consider moving back to your hometown?
FUCK NO.wickliffe is a nasty city filled with nasty people who just like to sleep with each other and never leave.

50. Describe your laugh.
i guess it's kind of boisterous. and i've been told that it's somewhat contagious as well.

52. What's for lunch?
i ate chipotle....the perfect hangover meal.

53. Who are you looking forward to seeing that you haven't seen in awhile?
my sister and her family...but that won't be until christmas time.

54. Can you do the Crank Dat dance?
no thank you.

55. Who sings the song you last sang?
graham colton

56. Have you ever modeled for anything?
do i look like i've ever modeled for anything?

57. Plans for this weekend?
homework. be lazy. eat unhealthy food.

58. How was last weekend?
well, it's sunday night so the weekend isn't technically over but i'd say that it was a good one fo sho.

59. Have you ever been to California?
nope

60. How about New York City?
LOVE IT THERE! hoping to go back in february....

61. Favorite color to wear?
black or navy blue

62. Have you ever been in love?
i only believe in things that i can see. and so since i can't see love, i dont believe in it. i can't say that i've ever been in this non existent feeling people "have". i really think the entire concept is bogus.

63. How long until your birthday & how old will you be?
5 months.....and i'll be 22. ew.

64. What's the next cd or dvd you'll buy?
who knows.

65. Anything bad going to happen in the next week?
school will be taking a giant shit on me. i'm hoping to make it out alive by wednesday morning.

Wandering the streets in a world underneath it all...

i dont know what's wrong with me, but i have been feeling so worn down lately. this week kicked my ass. i just want to lay around and do nothing all the time. i wonder if i'm starting to get sick. david got me all scared about getting sick at work because things go around and spread like the plague. and my desk is right under the vent in my office, so i'll be taking daily germ showers because the ventilation system is really bad at work. not that i ever needed help getting sick to begin with, but this year should be worse. super duper. i should have gotten that flu shot they were handing out last week at work. oh well.

i saw my parents today for the first time since july. i really do miss them a whole lot more than i ever thought i would. i enjoy their company. and they seem a lot happier now that all the kids are finally out of the house. my mom seemed like she was glowing today. i'm happy for them...and i'd be even happier if their house would sell. apparently no one needs a 4 bedroom house with no grass to mow in a run down city that has nothing good left in it. eh, it'll all be ok in the end i suppose.

so, i've been doing a lot of driving lately...so i've had lots of time to think. and i think i want to start going to church again. i dunno...i just feel like i'm missing something in my life...and alcohol doesn't really fill the void anymore. and i don't believe in love [not that i'd ever actually find love anyways] so i think i might start going. who knows though, i reeeeally value my sleep on sunday mornings. it's just a thought at least.

i've been feeling really pessimistic lately, which is kind of weird. i think it's the weather....the fall makes me feel gloomy even though i don't really have anything to be gloomy about.

dane cook is tonight.....i hope it's as fun as it was 3 years ago. and then we're going out in cleveland....i really hope thats fun because i'm not really looking forward to it.

death cab for cutie is perfect fall weather music. also, the new angels and airwaves cd is pretty decent, although i need to listen to it more.

"Let's fight crime with mangoes and limes..."

Something I would like to invent in my next life [actually, I'd rather someone just do it for me] is a dryer that instantly dries clothes...or does it in like 20 minutes. I'm cleaning my room for the first time in seriously 3 weeks and doing laundry and it's taking fooooooooooorever. But it is nice that I can finally see my floor again. The shitstorm was getting out of hand. And of course, cleaning my room is always better than doing homework. I love the group on Facebook called " Nothing Gets My Room Cleaner Than A Paper Due Tomorrow"...it's funny because it's true. I'm so happy that it's finally "flannel sheets weather", although I'm not real happy about the snow I saw today.

Just a little refresher because it's been forever since I sat around and did this as a form of procrastination:
-- Overall, NYC was amazing. I loved hanging out with Brian and seeing his life. I was originally planning on going back to visit around Christmas time, but I think I'm going to hold off until February. We've got a long weekend in there somewhere for Presidents Day I think, so that would be ideal.
-- School is still making me want to shoot myself, but only like 4 weeks left! Actually, I'm dealing a little bit better...but I wish I wasn't taking e-marketing or digital imaging 2. Both are a giant waste of time and I wish I could focus more on my classes that matter but oh well. I'm fairly certain next semester is going to be a bitch. 4 studio classes = death. BUT! They're the final 4 classes until graaaaaaaaaaaaduation! Yikes. I'm really excited but a little scared.

-- MH pretty much gave me a job offer....they wanted to offer me a job because they were hoping I was graduating in December, but Shelley said the offer will still stand in May, so thats always nice. Speaking of MH, I spent my summer moving on up! I started in a small cube on intern row. Then, about halfway through, I was moved into the Marketing department, and now, Shelley and I share an OFFICE!! There were plenty of extra cubes I could have been thrown into, but she wanted me in there. I like the feeling of being needed -- like, knowing that if i don't go into work when they're expecting me, means that I'll be screwing people over. Weird and twisted, but that's me I guess. Although, now that it's kind of a slow time, we spend a lot of time screwing around and being silly, but it's fun that way. I really can't complain at all. I'm really looking forward to the holiday party, which by the way, is being held at The House of Blues in Cleveland. Uppity!

-- I am currently incredibly obsessed with The Office. I can't get enough. We DVR the episodes and I watch them a million times. I catch something new and funny every time. And maybe I find things funnier because I work in an office...and I wish things were really like that. I need one of these REEEEEAL bad:

-- Also, if you're looking to pirate some music, I HIGHLY recommend listening to music scores...ya know, the instrumental stuff in movies. It's awesome. John Williams, Hans Zimmer and James Horner are pretty much my heroes. Maybe I'm a little cheesy, but I don't care. Here are some suggestions:


I guess that's it for now. I'm sure the load of clothes has got to be dry by now. And I found this to be simply amazing...